the misadventures of las mamacitas

With all of the recent LOTR excitment, the nameless mamacita has noticed a recent surge of past Elijah Wood movies on TV. Movies ranging from when he looks no older than ten or twelve and some where he looks no older than five or six. It has dawned on her that poor Elijah is one of those child actors that didn't have a "normal" childhood. His was obviously spent on movie sets and in random trailors. Not that this is all bad - being that the nameless mamacita wants to be an actor some day herself, she almost envies Mr. Wood. He was practically born into the business and has obviously survived into adulthood. He didn't fall victim to the common "childactorcurse" ... and is still working. How lucky for him. The nameless mamacita still has to wonder however - if Elijah had his choice, would he have wanted a "normal" childhood? She is sure that he considers himself very lucky to be where he is today, but it's hard to imagine just how it would feel to ALWAYS be in the spotlight ... to have been practically born into the media ... to have never known what it's like to walk down the street and not be noticed - just a normal person like everyone else ... just a thought.

las mamacitas - 12:24 AM

Friday, January 03, 2003

la mamacita pequena:
she has figured out how to enable people to leave comments. unfortunately, this comment system borrowed from blogout leaves the commenting link as shout out and she doesn't know how to fix it. damn computers. has la mamacita pequena mentioned that she is computer illiterate? yes, she has. plus working as much as she has in the past few days has left her tired, sore, and her brain confused. but tomorrow, after a little more work, she will return to her mother's and say farewell to her friend crystal. but for now, there is much cleaning, eating, and sleeping to do. until next time. . .
and welcome, new, nameless mamacita. it's nice to have you. and not kevin bacon.

las mamacitas - 9:40 PM

huzzah, la otra mamacita has come at last!

lml discovered tpday that "the simpson's road rage" for playstation 2 might possibly be the greatest thing on the planet. does this suprise you that lml thinks as such? probably not. anything to fuel the obsession. you go around in a car as one of the characters and drive about picking up townspeople. who say humorous things. like let's say you're lisa and you pick up millhouse. he'll politely ask if you want to be his girlfriend, to which you'll promptly shout no! and you can run into basically anything.. light posts, cars, boulders, the commerce city mascot guy, and send them flying. and it rocks cause if you knock something over it stays like that the whole game so pretty soon, there's mass chaos all over the roads. lml enjoys when you hit poor old gil, and he tells you he'll sue. mmm most wonderful. tambien, lml le gusta el disco compacto de le tigre, que receibe de mdf hoy. muy bien! esta divertida por toda de su familia!
ahora, soy cansada, y por eso yo se "adios."

las mamacitas - 2:17 AM

Thursday, January 02, 2003

I was specifically instructed by lml that in my first post I was to : "Say where I'm from, three things I like, three things I dislike, my year in school and anything else I want to put." Well, I already fucked that one up - so my apologies Bort .... can you find it in your heart to forgive me?

My name is Heather Jean.
I like it.
It's kinda funny because it could be a hick name.
Go ahead .... imagine a dirty toothless man in overalls screaming that off a back porch in "the country" somewhere.

I am from Redlands, California.
That's a little less than an hour down the freeway from L.A.

I am a freshmen at the University of Northern Colorado.
(California may be polluted, but at least it doesn't smell like ass.)

Three things I like:
(in no particular order)
1) buttermilk biscuits
2) Pippen (Billy Boyd) from Lord of the Rings ...he's a funny little man with a highly enjoyable Scottish accent.
3) The color Green

Three things I dislike:
1) Kevin Bacon
2) The band Creed
3) Kevin Bacon
(Did I mention that I DISLIKE Kevin Bacon?)

Anything else I want to put:
Tracy Chapman is rockin awesome.
King Soopers should be spelled King Supers (must be a CO thing).
Anyone who has never had In N Out Burger is an unfortunate soul indeed.
and I like Donkeys.

Still haven't thought of a name.
Les Sigh.

las mamacitas - 4:42 AM

How fast does a nostril piercing close?
Pretty fucking fast my friends.
Pretty fucking fast.

So I had this piercing in my face, the nostril to be exact, for a little over a month now. Life is joyus. I love the nostril piercing. It loves me. No infections, no irritation, just sweet sweet lovin. It's like Jesus meant me to have three holes in my nose. I couldn't be happier. Until one day a bastard towel decides to pull the nostril stud out of my face. No big deal right? Oh, how wrong that assumption would be. I try as I might to get the nostril stud back into it's hole. After all, it's not intended to leave my face for another two months. I struggle and struggle to no avail. I even wake my mother from her slumber (being that it's two o' clock in the morning.) and she can't get it in either. This might be due to the fact that we are dumb asses, but I like to believe that it is because those nostril studs are tricky little bastards. If you've never seen one, it's all curvy and twisted and has to be put in just the right way at just the right angle. Niether this new mamacita, nor her poor sleepy mother can replace the stud to it's happy hole. The hole in my face is becoming irritated. It doesn't like being stabbed and mangled by surgical steel. At last, we give up. We decide that it hopefully won't close before morning, and that we will get to a tattoo place ASAP. Well, being that it's New Year's Day, there really are no tattoo places open. Except for one....the poor mamacita and her mother wait and wait in this scuzzy So-Cal tattoo parlor with scary men and images of naked women dressed up like cowboys ....(why anyone would want that tattooed on their person - I have no idea.) But alas, the piercer never shows up to work. Probably drank one too many Keystone Lights the night before and decided to stay home and watch the Rose Parade over and over and over again. By the time I got home, I tried putting an earing through the hole to keep it open long enough to get the nostril stud back it. All this only to realize that the hole has already closed from the inside and I will have to stab it through. Simply putting the earing in was painful enough - I didn't want to experience the horrific pain of stabbing through the tender flesh struggling to heal. I guess I figure that if I'm going to have to re-pierce this mofo, it may as well be done by a paid professional in a cleanly environment. Infection doesn't appeal to me one bit.
MORAL OF THIS STORY:
Nostril piercings close ridiculously fast.
Just hope it doesn't happen to you in the wee hours of the morning on New Year's Day.

This is a new mamacita here for everyone's enjoyment.
This new mamcita has not thought of a name for herself yet ... but should come up with something witty shortly.
Remember to always wash behind your ears - and don't drink milk ... it's the white death.
Signing off:
The mamacita with no name.

las mamacitas - 3:42 AM

oh what's that? lml figured out how to fix the clock. you're welcome. go ahead and shower her with gifts if you feel the need.

las mamacitas - 1:18 AM

la primera dia del ano 2003.

new years eve was joyous. ewan, jude and a little elijah film fest. yes that's right- the good son. quite possibly one of the creepiest movies around. what's that? maculky is a shit muffin? ah yes it's true. any culkin in general is just awful. would you like your shit muffin served hot or cold? maybe you should discontinue those, they're bad for business. not an appetizing smell. lml was out of it last night. this became obvious when she announced to everyone "excuse me, i have to go vanilla ice." of course she meant she had to pee, but said assclown was gracing the tv with his presence at that moment and lml's brain got all crazy. mmm lml enjoys the tiny cakes that live at mdf''s house. too bad they are no more. sadness. must off now as large amount of food in lml's stomach has decided to engage in a brawl and make her feel like yarfing. sleep will be excellent. especially if it contains heinys. hahaha.

las mamacitas - 1:12 AM

Wednesday, January 01, 2003

la mamacita pequena:
well, it's back to boulder to work some 12 hour days, but rent has to be payed. it has been a crazy few days for la mamacita pequena and her friend crystal. *note* never get a tattoo from a parlor that has a decomposing, half-eaten, english muffin with grape jelly hidden behind the couch or that has a woman working there who calls herself dream. that is it for now. it's off to bed for a long day of work tomorrow. sleep tight and have nice dreams about heinys, fellow mamacitas.

las mamacitas - 11:56 PM

Tuesday, December 31, 2002

as of 2 minutes ago, lml's car is now mostly clean. this would be due to the quite muddy water and the inferior sponge used to carry out the op. sure, she could have only cleaned the part with the paint balls on it, but then it would have looked goofy as the car was extremely filthy. now that it is uniformly streaked with muddy water spots, lml feels much better. mission accomplished. la mamacita loca hates, yes hates those little wheely things that hold garden hoses. they all claim to make rolling up your hoses easier, but lml always gets one of her hands covered in dirt clods, and they never roll up like they're supposed to. bastards. if it was her house, lml would have left the hose in the yard to dry out. to bad it isn't. yar

las mamacitas - 3:01 PM

el dia antes del nuevo ano!

weee. you want an accent on that n? too bad. la mamacita loca doesn't know how. yawning. tired from sleeping. the elijah wood film festival was marvelous. adv. of huck finn (pap is scary), the ice storm (really odd and horribly depressing, but kinda good maybe?) and last nights venture- forever young. an excellent family film. what is it with cristina ricci and always being the weirdest characters ever..except for maybe two movies. and she never ages! seriously. ponder this. here is a good quote from the film "wilde" which contains a whole lotta jude action and a tad of orlie. - " i find that alcohol, taken in sufficient amounts, will bring about all the effects of drunkeness." hehehe lml doesn't like the assholes who threw paint balls at her car. what are your qualms? do you not like the stickers? why can't we all just get along? now she has to wash it. she hasn't washed it for almost 6 months now and she was on a roll. but you had to go and ruin it you assholes. today will be strange as no one has a clue of what is happening tonight. hmm. just as lml was getting used to the sound of 2002, now they have to go and change it on us. damn. remember when billie joe messed up his own song on live tv? that was funny. lml fell off the couch laughing. mmm billie joe. yea. and we are finished.

las mamacitas - 12:18 PM

Monday, December 30, 2002

the return of la mamacita pequena:
many things have happened in the past week. la mamacita saw lord of the rings: the two towers, it was wonderful. simply wonderful. and hot. simply hot. la mamacita pequena's best friend, crystal, arrived on friday. since then, they have been hanging out and doing stupid things. but all in good fun. last night, crystal took la mamacita pequena to cowboy's which is a country dance club, or so they thought. on arrival, they take everyone's driver's licenses and hold them. why? no one knows. all la mamacita pequena wanted to do was people watch, and avoid some people she went to high school with. the night was partially sucessful. she did dance to one song, a two step, because she promised she would. and la mamacita pequena keeps her promises. a boy tried to ask lmp to dance, but with three failed attempts and a few shots later (to "loosen him up"), he finally decided to stand from afar and catch quick glimpses while his friend talked loudly about how he should "go on an ask her, come on". but lmp had already had her one country dance for the year. the dance floor was filled with hoochie mamas, all under the age of 17. such country classics as move, bitch, git out da way and christina's dirrty were played and everyone sang and dance, except for lmp. once they decided to leave, approx. 12 am, they had to stand in the longest, slowest line in the history of ever to get their id's back. after a fight, some grinding on lmp's leg and back by strangers, and many fuck asses cutting in line, they made it out. at a little after 1am. no more country clubs for la mamacita pequena. once in her lifetime was enough.

las mamacitas - 11:13 AM