the misadventures of las mamacitas

el vienteocho de deciembre

welcome to the land of dorkus. first of all, yesterday, la mamacita loca implemented the word "dunderhead." right. today we watched the fellowship of the ring. we are lame. on the extended version, if you slow it down right after gandalf freaks out..it really looks like orlie farts. and everyone is appalled. elijah is appalled to the point of getting "sick face." try it. most enjoyable. and damn funny if you make up dialogue for the other characters. the council of elrond really pisses lml off. everytime she hears boromir say "it is a gift" she can't think about anything but the stupid parody on the mtv movie awards involving jack black and a p.a. she think she may yarf. or just laugh. it's quite funny to lml that her cat answers to the name "satan." what a dumbass. everyone, the weekend has arrived. go now, and make merriment.
-lml

las mamacitas - 1:54 AM

Friday, December 27, 2002

la mamacita del fuego wants the legolas standeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. badly. la mamacita loca wants to think scott called you. haha she thinks. spit spit...snort snort. har har. las mamacitas have written thrice times a new song on this midday. eve. snort goes la mamacita loca. "shudup you hoe!!!! she exclaims. alas la mamacita del fuego doesn't. "stop rubbing your foot on la mamacita del fuego!" la mamacita del fuego pleads. she does not. "stop looking at me"
these mamacitas are quite happy about all the new orlando bloom merchandise, movies, and all around attencion! that is apparent in today's society. they ae quite excited for pirates of the carribean. mmmmm. thar be good.
"i feel like a dog"
""how long have you felt this way?""
"since i was a puppy"
-mdf and lml

las mamacitas - 9:11 PM

Thursday, December 26, 2002

you know you're a loser when you go see the same movie two nights in a row. hey man, that's okay. it's cool yo. dear lord that shot with the flower that theoden is holding..that's some fine work.sometimes you can forget how much of a badass gandalf is and then it hits you like a rock thrown by a hobbit. er something. excellently excellent. oh yes, and faramir has woman eyes. that's all fer now then
-lml

las mamacitas - 11:45 PM

feliz navidad!

lml finally saw lotr today and all she has to say is "wow." damn good. doubley damned good. gollum wasn't done as badly as previously supposed. actually creeped her out like he was meant to. and the orlie. oh the orlie was hot hot hot. mmmhmm. can't decide if is better than the first because they were both done so well. truely. definitely on the top of the greatest movies ever list. now have overwhelming urge to see third one. crap. want to see bad ass spider. eeeewwww! probably seeing it again tomorrow. yay. christmas rocked cause lml got socks. boy howdy.

las mamacitas - 1:02 AM

Wednesday, December 25, 2002

la mamacita pequena:
Merry Christmas! Happy Holidays!
(look! lmp actually used a capital letter!)

las mamacitas - 9:19 PM

Tuesday, December 24, 2002

la noche antes de navidad!

well, almost. today was depressing, and a little bit happy, but mostly just depressing. when lml says "today" she really means monday. yea. shame about joe strummer. that really makes us sad. of course lml's mother had no idea who the clash was until she mentioned "rock the casbah." damn. las mamacitas listened to several clash tunes in mr. strummer's honor. then came more bad news. while driving down college avenue, lml and her mom noticed that one of the greatest ice cream places ever (swensen's) was out of business. once again a little place with wonderful atmosphere and an electric train that lapped the ceiling has been taken out by some trendy ass chain store. that really jerks lml's chain. (wait, what is she, over forty?) shortly thereafter, lml was forced to enter the shopping mall. there are few things that lml hates more than the shopping mall, and one of these would be the shopping mall two days before christmas. salesclerks on comission. stop trying to help me, i'll bloody well find it meself! ass. eww but later was the worst of all. las mamacitas found the creepiest coldesac EVER. driving around, enjoying the lights when, wait a second, hold the phone, what the hell is that?!? yes, an entire community of houses with weird little cardboard cutouts. a family of ducks, deers, santa, oh no it's getting worse, are they playing their own horrible tinny music? oh somebody is gonna get sick. then, the last house on the street. is that beauty and the beast? and a chipmunk? and mickey mouse? oh shit. somebody's filled their lawn with imitation disney characters. what do you think you're doing here? those things are liable to come alive in the middle of the night and eat all the small children. maybe you should put those out at halloween instead. christmas isn't about making others crap their pants in horror. get with the program. that's all for now. keep on the look out for yellow bugs.
-lml

las mamacitas - 1:03 AM

la mamacita loca and la mamacita del fuego quite like albertson's. after a tiring night of christmas caroling and having a certain, un-named little girl attack them violently during the caroling, las mamacitas were exhausted. making a pit stop to see pretty lights of fanciful colors around the town, las mamacitas finally ended up at albertson's groceries, where their luck was about to change. while oohing and aahing at the lovely trinkets in the "toy aisle" las mamacitas were taken aback by someone entering said grocery store. BAM! it hit them and their two other amegas like a bolt of lightning. a bolt of hot, hot lightning. he walked in, as if slow motion, tossing his hair, which was gently blowing in the slight breeze of the heater, while in the background, marge asked for a cleanup on aisle twelve. it was le coup de foudre....love at first sight. he had the attire of a brit-popper, circa 1994 from essex or thereabouts. la mamacita del fuego thinks she can speak for la mamacita loca when she says, these mamacitas are quite fond of the whole "damon albarn" look. in fact, they are quite fond of damon albarn in general. he wore a black striped jogging jacket, tight jeans, and a knowing smirk. cocky. just how la mamacita del fuego likes her brit-poppers circa 1994. good-n-cocky. he was watched in awe by las mamacitas and their two amegas...all were too taken-a-back to do anything more. he drives a pale yellow slug-bug and holds the key to all our hearts. take care little brit pop man, las mamacitas will remember you.
tomorrow la mamacita del fuego will experience that which is known as thelordoftherings the two towers. she is quite excited. and for presents... mmmm
-mdf

las mamacitas - 12:40 AM

Monday, December 23, 2002

la mamacita pequena:
only one more day before everything has to be wrapped. less than 24 hours. christmas eve will be spent wrapping presents, then with her cousin, cydney, who will celebrate her birthday. more wrapping presents. then on to dad and stepmom's house in monument. then back to the springs (once again) for step-grandma's christmas eve elegant dinner and presents. then back to monument, where the family will hurridly open presents then drive back through colorado springs (who makes theses plans? not la mamacita pequena) to security where everyone joins at tipsy grandma and cool grandpa beattie's house. hurridly eat brunch, unwrap gifts, hug, hold babies, and finally go home to spend the last 10 hours of christmas day with mom. goodness. why is christmas such a rush?
lml - glad to see that gurp and his buddies are bringing joy and gurpiness. la mamacita pequena has somehow managed to finangle the word "gurp" into her vocabulary by accident. leave it to the little one to do such silly things. and if your grandma ever has a garage sale, you know who to call. mmmmm, la mamacita pequena smells chicken parmesan

las mamacitas - 9:28 PM

que dia es? yo no se.

that's what you get after a car trip with your padres. fun filled trip to texas- left friday night and came back today (sunday) weehaw. lml's parents+ 92.5's "friday night dance party" = lml falling over in joyous peels of laughter. somehow her genius parents managed to get two, count 'em TWO cds stuck in the player at one time. lml found this rather humorous until she realized one of the victims was her own..the beatles. not so funny now is it. well as of today the cd entitled "1" is still MIA. the other victim made it out just fine with hardly a scratch, as if anyone cared about "tribute to america's heroes." crap just plain crap. but the beatles, come on, losing that is just wrong! it never came out, it says there's no cd inside, and you can still play other cds. lml believes that perhaps her father never actually put it into the player. after all, it was 2:00 in the morning. MIA, MIA!!! pissed pissed. and not in the happily drunk sort of way. mother said that maybe santa would bring her a new copy. damn straight he will. la mamacita loca has one of the funniest grandmas ever. she loves telling stories, especially the one about grandpa's pants falling down while they were fixing a tire on the side of the road. instead of helping, she just laughed and laughed. yay. lml's family is insane as well, and she doesn't ever have to worry about fitting in. teehee. incrediably (-never could spell that word right..) sick of listening to weird old christmas tunes. sure they're alright for awhile but after about the seventh time you've heard "run run rudolph" in three days, you're ready to jump out of a moving vehicle. okay, so it's not that bad..have so much cholestorol in system, think may burst. that's what happens when your grandma cooks everything with a stick of butter. feel just like new fish who makes "gurp" noises, and is named as such. may just go around house all day tomorrow gurping. lml gives many thanks to lmp for her new fish. oh, and lmp would have loved grandma's house. straight out of the sixties. the bright green with white polkadots shower curtain, and the ugliest towel ever..orange with puke yellow swirl design. lml loved it so much she wanted to take it home with her. alas, she did not win. ahh, texas. from her childhood where dad got pulled over .." i don't know how you drive in colorado mr.harvey, but here in texas, we obey the laws." classic. lml should probably go to sleep and stop rambling now. much shopping to do tomorrow. ugh. peace out
-lml

las mamacitas - 1:34 AM

Sunday, December 22, 2002

la mamacita del fuego has been labouring to keep christmas traditions alive en su casa
christmas tree is finally present and well lit---check
stockings hug by the chimney with care--check
chipmunk christmas disc is playing and annoying all in area-- double check

la mamacita del fuego is ready for christmas time to commence.
she quite likes lord of the rings, and legolas action figures, although she thinks the actual elf is much hotter. go frodo go!

there will no joy for finland.
-mdf

las mamacitas - 6:38 PM